Actual Email Sent to Multiple People At My Office Today

Should one of you besides me be loading our dishwasher on any given evening and also so kindly include the coffee carafe I use (truly a WORLD CLASS behavior when you do that), please be sure to detach its lid and put that in one of the side baskets in the washer.

This morning I found the lid in the bottom of the machine and of course if it had fallen on the heating element it not only would’ve melted, it could possibly have destroyed the machine itself.

I already spoke angrily about this with stunt doubles for Delila and Tumosa, using previously approved talking points – and both hotly denied any responsibility. In fact though, they avoided eye contact and quickly changed the subject to the rest of you. So we had fun talking the rest of the entire morning about you guys, then did some cartwheels, then went to lunch.

So let’s play it safe and use that side basket for that little piece of plastic. Make sure you use those side baskets appropriately when considering other purposes too. I’m sure NONE of us want to be walking in on someone doing something inappropriate with those side baskets.

I’m sure as we all work on this together, our sense of teamwork, harmony and common destiny will only become heightened with heartfelt fervor.

[EDITOR NOTE: LOL. What a tool.]

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